As the final page closes I feel elated, I feel like writing "Its the most amazing book", like saying to someone "you have to read it". Yes. And the whole book was like that, clarity to clarity, without being to sure of itself. Its a book of relevant doubts, and of struggle. It is amazing. You should read it.
So, it says on the cover "This novel changes lives" and on the backside "The novel for every woman who ever thought she knew herself. And for every man who ever thought he knew a woman". That is such a strange line - but in itself, it reminds the contemporary reader that the climate between men and women described in the book is hardly exaggerated. It obviously says this is a book primarily for women (women read books about and of men ALL THE TIME, but if there is a book about women of a woman, its not suggested seriously to be read by men). Its like the "Game" by Neil Strauss (which I haven't read yet actually). How to pick up women using all kinds of dirty techniques could be an adequate subtitle there, and I have thought of reading it to understand those men, to outsmart them. As with Sun Tzu, "The art of War". I would read those books in the same way as the men are encouraged to read Marilyn French's "The women's room". Do we believe this is time specific, things ahve changed now? Since I begun reading this book, and told everyone I know about it including a bunch of supposedly genderrole-aware men, not one of the latter has read it, or show interest in reading it, despite my elogies. By being feminist, they dismiss it.
As I read it though, I find it striking how these women simply seem like people to me (not like women - like people! Whoa! The things you see yourself writing!). Smart, inquisitive, struggling, loving people. I dont think of them as women, and this despite the fact that a large part of the book has to do with the meaning of being a woman in the modern day western society (1970s). For me they don't seem "other". Perhaps because I identify with them, and simultaneously dont feel estranged by their gender. Normally I identify with one or other man in popular culture, since they 1), appear en masse whilst women are the exception that confirm the rule (which both conceeds them power of the norm and more diversity to choose from) 2) they appear in many forms and personalities, smart, inquisitive, reflexive etc, and not only as one semitough, semismart, semiindependent, pretty person with boobs who is only there to confirm the male protagonist. But then inevitably, I realize the difference - They always have a dick.
This is what strikes me the most about this book. To be able to talk about this, and but not from a marginalized position, in the space of the book, in the story, the group they form and their friendships, they can overcome the "otherness". From that point on, the discussions, the questions can be real, new, go beyond the same old. That is liberating.
The backside reads further:
"THE WOMENS ROOM is the hauntingly powerful story of Mira Ward - a wife of the Fifties who becomes a woman of the Seventies. from the shallow excitements of suburban cocktailparties and casual affairs through the varied nightmares of rape, madness and loneliness to the dawning awareness of the exhilaration of liberation, the experiences of Mira and her friends crystallize those of a generation of modern women."
I guess that is what it is about and not. Read it. Read it. Read it.
Its also about politics in the 70s, the student movements, about people struggling for something and succeeding or failing, about the best way to organize society, about love, about friendship. Its intellectually stimulating, asks many questions.
French also says things that cuts through a lot of crap, down to the core of things:
Excerpts:
- "Loneliness is not a longing for company, it is a longing for a kind" p 189
"Well, of course I'm not the person who tactfully should say this, but I am the person who can say it: is it possible to live with somebody whose values you don't share?" p 547 - "People criticize communes because they don't last, but why in hell, will you tell me, should they last? Why does an order have to become a permanent order? Maybe we should live one way for a couple of years, then try another."p 498
- "Unfortunately the world around us does not necessarily change in tempo with changes in us." p 315
- "I talk to myself, myself, myself. Now I am smart enough to provide a fairly good running dialogue, but the problem is there's no response, no voice but mine. I want to hear another's truth, but I insist it be a truth. I talk to the plants but they shrivel and die." p 191
- "You know, the Greek word for truth - aletheia - doesn't mean the opposite of falsehood. It means the opposite of lethe, oblivion. Truth is what is remembered." p 629
Sunny autumn day,
Stockholm
12-09-11
